Depression and anxiety are two things that a lot of people don’t understand can go hand in hand. I may seem outgoing and happy, but dying on the inside. I love having people over to my house, but it is nearly impossible to get me to go party anywhere else. I’ve made my environment comfortable and to step out always causes such anxiety.
I wrote this poem the other day. Its something that has been gradually coming to me. It almost dictates how someone with depression and anxiety may feel overwhelmed by circumstance. I have days where I wanna be left alone, but I don’t ever want to feel lonely. There is a difference.
Just Leave Me Alone
Do you ever feel like you need to get away
from the hustle and bustle and day-to-day?
Do you ever want to push everyone further,
and inside yourself, crawl and whither?
Do you ever love your family so deep,
That you try to save them from this heap?
A heavy burden your carry within your heart,
so heavy from inside it rips you apart?
Leave me be, don’t come any closer,
The anxiety runs over me like a dozer.
The intensity of co-existing with another,
Is too much to take, I feel smothered.
Inside the quiet space, I’ve made for my mind,
Is the only sanity, I fear I can find.
I’m screaming inside, do you hear that?
The pressure is holding me down flat.
I can’t breathe, I can’t make a complete thought,
The darkness is overwhelming making me rot,
Let me fight this insanity in my solitude,
Or inside me will grow this feud,
And overwhelm me until I expire,
Maybe only that will put out this fire.
I encourage you to listen to those around you. I’ve heard that it is often most the happiest people around you that have the worst battle with depression. Sometimes a little compassion can go a long way.
Just as a disclaimer: I am not suicidal, nor do I wish to perish. Its my belief that everyone has a battle with darkness inside them and how you decide to fight that battle is as individualized with the battle itself. We all need a moment to be ourselves in the still, in the quiet.
Do you suffer with depression and anxiety? Do you know someone who does? Do you have any tips or pointers on how to deal with stress playing a role in the severity of that suffering? Comment below and lets help the world become a better place together.